Sunday, September 20, 2009



Eid Mubarak.


I am totally not ready for Lebaran cause it feels like Ramadhan flew just a little bit too fast. I have yet to sleep though i seriously am tired with all the cleaning and I don't want to miss takbir. There's concealers for the eye bags, so there shouldn't be a problem. :) hah.

My Mak kesian, still have to cook. Next year, i really think we should just call in the caterer. Insyaallah.

Eid Mubarak everyone!! Insyaallah you guys had a fulfilling Ramadhan and may Allah swt bless you and your family on this joyous occasion. Just remember to celebrate in moderation ey. :) Lastly, minta maaf zahir batin kawans and thank you for all the wishes.

i pen my thoughts @6:20 AM

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

all in the name of tired.


Kuih raya is still in the flour state. Baju raya totally no idea where to get from. I still need to clean up the junk in my room anddd today marks the 19th day we are fasting. I don't feel the excitement like i use to when i was young. We will be busy making kuihs, arranging lampu kelap-kelip (decorative lights) and spring cleaning while blasting raya songs from 94.2 FM. It is just not the same when everybody is all grown up. Work has always been in the way. It is so hard to iftar as a family, all because of nursing. Ouh wait, i think this sounds better - all because of shift work. :):) haha.

Yesterday, i've got the urge to listen to 94.2 FM just to get the feel of raya. haha. The deejay posted a question regarding the length of the circulatory system and since i am online, i googled it. And since i've got the answer, i just tried my luck in calling. I have noooo clue what the whole thing was, what will i get if i got it right and all. It was just some random shit when i decided to listen. The best part is, i got through and the answer was RIGHT!! haha. i think i sounded wierd speaking malay and suddenly english on a malay stream. wth. A song dedicaton was what i got for getting it right and i initially said any song will do. But the deejay insisted, so i said raya song. He played some Fauziah Latiff raya song that didn't even boost the raya feel.

I am going on night again. So this 2 days of rest day must be well utilised. I really need someone to tell me that its 10 more days of fast till raya!!! Iftar sessions with friends non stop. Upcoming is with the 2B-ians. Syaz, terawih at Alkaff again, soon. I think i prefer the other Alkaff.

And bazaar geylang is dead except the short stretch at haig road.

i pen my thoughts @11:52 AM

Friday, August 28, 2009

arrogant? nah.

Its just different.
I did try anyway.
a few more times perhaps.

too bad if at that moment, i was cold.

i pen my thoughts @3:47 AM

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

jumpa besok.

i will be away for a day.
im a party planner now.
location: nearby island. hah.

i pen my thoughts @11:54 AM

Monday, August 24, 2009

Insyaallah, you'll make it through.

My heart breaks to see you like that.
Even so, its fate. Like i've said before,
death is just another chapter of us.

My prayers goes to you my friend.
Insyaallah, you'll make it through.

i pen my thoughts @12:54 PM

Friday, August 21, 2009

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak.

I had a second fall. This time, it is at Starbucks but i still find it ok to fall in public. All i did was to stay calm. Thank You dear Miss Caucasian for your concern. :):)

Tomorrow will be the first day of Ramadhan. I really hope that i can embrace it much more than the previous years. I love Ramadhan so much more than raya. The satisfaction and solace is what i enjoy. The inner peace has always been there. If only i can take Annual Leave for the whole month.

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak. Have a bless one everyone. :)
The least you can do is respect.
And remember it is better to give than receive.


i pen my thoughts @11:37 PM

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

insomnia.

AL was nice. Too nice.
I love the feeling of being at home.
I love the feeling of being able to bum, temporarily.
Just one mistake, I will always sleep late.
and now, my brain refuses to sleep.
slap me cause i need to realise AL is long gone.

i pen my thoughts @12:34 AM

Friday, August 07, 2009

sedap sehingga menjilat jari.

A sumptous LJS breakfast was what I needed for a random Friday morning. :) the bestest fast food breakfast ever!!! Headed down to Bedok's LJS and was on time enough to catch the breakfast for Syaz and myself though Syaz will be coming slightly later. LJS was seriously infested with red shirt secondary school students post National Day Celebration. just great...

It felt like ages for Syaz to come though its only close to 40 mins of waiting. They kept stealing glances cause I had 2 meals on the table for 30 mins. These growing human beings portray as hungry lions whenever they look over. They were ever ready to pounce.

And Naza came down too. Much of a surprise. After the hawaiian theme shopping, Naza headed home while Syaz and I stayed at Bedok Library for a bit.

and Naza, its great to have met you today. ^__^

Went over to My nenek's place in the evening. She was making herself busy just to make sure we eat. She felt bad that there's only sotong gravy thus she whipped up a simple Sambal Sardine and omelette for us. damn sweet of her. :):) all the uncles and the aunts inherit the habit of serving gooooooood food.

I have never liked canned sardines. Most to most, I will only munch on their bones and this dates back to 1990s. haha. And today, My nenek changed my entire perception on canned sardines cause its weallly weallly goooooooood. Sedap sehingga menjilat jari ok. NO joke. Actually, all her food tastes damn shiok so it does not make any difference. LOL.


i am contented.

My nenek with Celmira


Cik Rossly simbolises happiness in the simplest way.

i pen my thoughts @11:06 PM

of the lompat tak jadi.

I guess the issue about me and my phone is nothing new. For those who happen to read this and have no idea what i am talking about, text me and try your luck. But wait, if you want to save your message then don't.

I am blessed to have friends who simply hate me for doing so but they still can accept the fact that i am just like that. I will reply though it'll take eons. :):)

Had a blasting fun time with Mira, Nisa and Fyza. Thank you guys for being just like that. It does not matter if you guys are already 21. Anyway, you guys are still as cock as ever. I seriously cannot make it when it comes to pool. and Fyza suck at taking jumpshot pictures. in the end, kesian ankle, sakit again. ily ankle. i need you for all the climbs and runs.

Oh yes, i actually sprained my ankle probably 3 weeks back from a failed attempt at lead climbing the roof at NYP. which is 5 panels=5metres=2 storey high. alhamdulillah its only a sprain and thank god Naz managed to pull in the rope cause theres tooooo much slack. thats what i call experiece. the ankle is still slightly swollen and i think the ligament is haywired.

p.s. my frequency is still good ok and i am fine thank you. hahaha.

i pen my thoughts @1:40 AM

Sunday, August 02, 2009

lesson learnt.

Today started off well with me not being late though the ankle still bugs me. Nowadays i enjoy work so much more because of the sufficient staffing. But the more hands there is, the more shit there is to clear. Everybody loves to assume that the work is done.

Besides the point, i experienced THE 1st active resusitation today. It was not a good one cause it was messy. ok, all resus are messy but oh heck. It always depends on who you are with during the resus. It definitely does not help if everyone is trying to speak at the same time and people asking nonsensical stuff when clearly everyone is busy except oneself. Nobody thinks right.

And like i said earlier on - The more hands there is, the more shit there is to clear.

remember, you guys are not alone. :):):)

on a lighter note,
HAPPY NURSES DAY TO ALL.

i pen my thoughts @12:04 AM

Thursday, July 30, 2009

just great.

i enjoy running long distances now.
i have always enjoyed natural climbing.
and the school wall decided to give me a present of its own.
but serve me right,
i have always wondered how it feels to break a bone or two.

4 days of MC is just what i need.




and i miss this two buggers. :):):)

i pen my thoughts @8:28 PM

Friday, January 16, 2009

fat little causes

it is going to be close to one year of working and i am missing school. especially rockclimbing, camps and expeditions. i hate to think that i am no longer active in sports. it is not like i am stuggling with my weight... i just want to feel healthy.

in need of an exercise regime badly. and i have been wanting to join Pilates classes for the longest time.

birthday party invitations are countless. gosh. this makes it all worse. there's Fiona, Diana, Li Khoon and ouh yes... Mr Wilfred whom i forgot to wish.


Siti NorHana's 21st cum 2Bs' 9th years of friendship

and what's new... i am going on night AGAIN.

i pen my thoughts @5:40 PM

Monday, January 05, 2009

just when.


its been a while since we ate out. cos everyone is busy working plus Kak Mai is still in confinement though it makes no difference cause she always goes out. hah. she hate the phrase "orang dulu-dulu kata...".

we went to Swensens at Changi. and i freaking hate it cause its damn annoying to have birthday parties all over with the birthday songs, loud chatter and wailing babies. i really think birthdays should be a private affair. but whichever way is fun as long as its not as annoying as yesterday. you know what i mean...

anyway, Happy Birthday to Siti NorHana and Hafizah!!! May Allah bless you and your family, insyallah.

went over to Kak Lisa's place just now. something like support group. hahaha. cause Faezin is now in Primary One and Fitri is in Nursery.


Fitri


Faezin

random - and this little Omar is my Dj

my new year's resolution for the next two years - to be able to sail through the 3 years without having to go through more fears and without having to run away from those fears. how i wish i could do nursing elsewhere instead of in Singapore. though i don't mind going private. argh... we shall see.

A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!

i pen my thoughts @9:07 PM

Saturday, December 27, 2008

silly mistake.

i came to work in the morning yesterday when i am supposed to be working in the afternoon. was close to taking cab when i realise i am still early. gosh... yes, i am early. if only the hospital has rooms for nurses. it'll be great cause i don't have to make my way all the way home just to continue my sleep.

anyhoos, i met Naz at the NEL link. it slipped my mind that its her birthday. thank god i hugged her. maybe i was made to come to work just to wish her. go the extra mile. hahaha.
pfttt. should have stayed a while longer at the birthday place.

the early morning face.

and tomorrow, is my niece's one month birthday celebration.

i pen my thoughts @2:45 PM

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


the verdict.

i dread going to work just now. but running away is not an option. being already sick, my as well get it over an done with. besides, most prolly i will not be able to concentrate if they decide to nag at me. 95% sick + 4% lost + 1% self.

it seems that my case has already faded with time. that is what i choose to believe for now. i suppose i am forgiven but not forgotten. maybe it will surface tomorrow. maybe....

i did not even get to see how he is doing after the ORIF as he was transferred. hopefully everything goes fine for him.

alhamdulillah...

i pen my thoughts @1:19 AM

Sunday, December 21, 2008

the effects.

it is that bad that i am now having sleepless nights, flu and aggravated by the stupid toothache with migrane. i need to get a grip before i fall into pieces.

i am just thinking too much.

i pen my thoughts @11:32 AM

Friday, December 19, 2008




not the average stress.

never been glad to be able to escape from work for some time. 4 days. thats how long of break i have after my night. if possible, i would never want to recall any of it. but what to do, i need to make my statement when those people ask me. pfttt. traumatizing.

if you have no god damn clue what i am babbling about, just wait. i know you will understand how grave this is.

i was the in charge for the male side on all 4 nights. it is good that there is the continuity of care and we are able to know patients better. it all happens on my third night which is yesterday. while being preoccupied with 2 admissions, a freaking loud thud came from along the corridor.
i hate to type it out but whatever. MY PATIENT FELL lying right lateral. urghhhhhhh!!!

and to have a patient fall, it is a big NO. no matter who's fault it is, it will always be the incharge who has to take the blame. well... someone has to anyway.

we brought him back to bed and i questioned him why was he near the fire hose reel. all he could say was "Tong minyak, tong minyak". which means oil barrel. and the best part was, all the cot sides was up and my collegue saw him fast asleep 5 minutes before the incident. just my luck.

this freaking fall leads to RMS (Risk Management System) where i have to explain with details regarding the incident which will lead to the sisters of the ward then the Senior Nurse Manager (SNM) who is the overall sister in charge of the ward and finally the Department of Nursing Admin (DNA). where every single time, they are going to parrot some timeworn axiom. gosh. there goes my clean record... its nicely marred.

kind of depressed for the last two days. it does not help to know that he sustained - Neck of Femur fracture KIV ORIF (Open Reduction Internal Fixation).
for all i know, i am going to be a dead meat on Tuesday.

for now, i need the beach and lots of prayers.

i pen my thoughts @1:30 PM

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

mere coincidence.

i should be in bed. cause i am "supossed" to be tired after working night. but here i am, glued to the computer. perhaps for various reasons.

  1. i am suffering from toothache and its killing my brain.
  2. my mum goes marketing and i am waiting for her return so that i can have my apple juice.
  3. i have got insomnia.
  4. there's so many discharges on my side; which means empty beds thus more overflow cases coming in today.
first night was tiring as usual. there is this need to know the patient better, need to adjust to the time, adjust to the pace and plus stupid report writing which i really find a chore. so much for legal document. anything can happen.

anyway, i met Farahliyana, a primary school friend, right before roll call started. not a very nice timing cause it all seems a rush. glad that our paths crossed again cause the last time i saw her was during primary school. but i was not aware that her mum knew my mum. or did she mistook me for someone else's daughter. and at that point, i went blank. i know its written all over my face. hah. the conversation was left hanging on my part. shame on me.

by the time i log off, it'll be noon. and i've got 3 hours of sleep, pray, and continue at least 1 hour plus. hopefully its enough to last me tonight.

on a lighter note, i am going to get BONUS on the eighteenth. hurrah eventhough its pro-rated. and i am done with Breaking Dawn. :)

i pen my thoughts @11:00 AM

Saturday, December 13, 2008

a trip to Lion City Hotel.

and thats my Malaysian cousin, Nurrahidah.
better known as Norkonor konor.
:)

i pen my thoughts @12:08 AM

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

twister mania.

played Twister with my family. hilarious!!! and absolutely a great workout.
too bad i have to wait for my cousin to upload the pics.


and... it reminds me of NYP and camps and...
oh wells.

slacking during lab lessons. THE best.

i pen my thoughts @6:25 PM

indulgence.

i am done with Eclipse some time back and now, on Breaking Dawn. though not as exciting as the first two, i am least tempted to flip to the last page to know the ending. the movie will be out in time when i am done with the Twilight saga.

yoghurt ice-cream is alot more tasty at this little shop at Singapore Post which is just opposite macs. you guys should give it a try. especially the macadamia flavour, my FAVOURITE. nice environment. simply delicious ice-cream. all thanks to izza.

anyway, my second sister is now in Hong Kong. holiday-ing.
its been hard trying to contact her. cause she won't be bothered to pay her bills. i know i am just as bad. but hey, at least i pay my bills. and at least i will reply even if it takes me weeks or months to realise. hah.
kak ida- if you are reading this, get ONLINE!!!!

i pen my thoughts @6:25 PM

the little one.


new parents.

nenek.

the little miss aunty.

i pen my thoughts @6:25 PM

Monday, December 01, 2008

New Moon.

I am done with New Moon at last. yeah.
and my next indulgence will be Eclipse.

and talking about new moon, my eldest sister has just given birth to one. =) yestereday at around 7 plus in the evening.
i have yet to get a chance to carry her.


by the way, i am going on night again. F-O-U-R nights.

i'll elaborate on her in my next entry.

i pen my thoughts @2:48 PM

Saturday, November 29, 2008

twilight.



i can't wait for the movie to be out. but books are simply love. i am allowed to create my very own image of Edward Cullen. hah. and i am now already on New Moon.

i pen my thoughts @11:01 PM

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

it always happen.





for now, i am in love with Mr Bean chocolate pancake and hot bean curd. this is just recent cause eunos has an outlet. and when i return home from my last night, i bought 2 hot bean curd for the bean curd fans at home.



i sat behind the waiting bus area cause i am just too shagged to stand and placed my 2 hot bean curd to my left. i turn to my right to look out for 63 when i saw a chinese lad holding 2 hot bean curd. it did not occur to me that its mine as i am blasting my ears. only when he stares at me as if challenging me to chase after him.


standing for what is mine, i stayed calm and paced towards him as he was only ten steps from me. and like any other coward, he ran away while keeping his eyes on me. after running a few steps, he stopped and walked towards me as i was staring hard at him. maybe i was just giving him i-am-going-to-kill-you-if-you-don't-turn-back kinda stare. hah.


the first thing he said to me was "Why did you take mine?". damn it... now he is making me confused. who should be angry here. freaking guilty conscious. who cares if he was breathing down on me cause the whole time, i was busy reading his body language and looking at him. ignoring his question, i probed him the same question.

ok. so he is actually mentally disabled or low IQ perhaps. i totally do not mind if he ask from me politely. i just can't be bothered so i asked him to take it anyway. immediately after that, he handed me the 2 bean curd and apologised. i wanted to give him actually but whatever. he should have behaved.


anyway, this limo was at the carpark a few days back. super cooooooooool. i want!!!!

i pen my thoughts @6:05 PM

Friday, November 14, 2008

i am going on night again.
which means more money... :)



Watch your thoughts,

they become words.

Watch you words,

they become actions.

Watch your actions,

they become habits.

Watch your habits,

they become character.

Watch your character,

it becomes your destiny.

- Motto, Metropolitan Milwaukee YMCA


i pen my thoughts @1:35 PM

Saturday, November 08, 2008

☻lasik dream☻

the hunt for new spectacles is finally over. although the past entry in july was like so over. but who cares anyway.


it sucks to know that it will never be possible for me to get perfect eyesight.

it sucks to know that i have got myopia and astigmatism.

it sucks to know that i have to get custom made spectacles/contact lenses.

it sucks to know that i have to pay a lump sum just to get them.

it sucks to know that the only best way is lasik- thats what i think.

so please, pimp my eyes.

i pen my thoughts @11:41 PM

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

sometimes, i just wish i can job hop. hah.

but oh well, at least i am blessed to have one.

i pen my thoughts @8:33 AM

Sunday, November 02, 2008

experience this.

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to the community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

-extracted from Tuesdays with Morrie


I did my night shift a week ago and on my way back towards Outram MRT, i was reading this page when i realise i am tired. With busy office workers and such going the opposite direction of me, i've got this strong urge to just stop. Hah.

To stop in the middle of the busy underpass that connects NEL and MRT.

Something that i think you guys should give it a try. To just stop for a moment and think. Anyway, he missed out one point: Most importantly, devote yourself to loving god.

i pen my thoughts @11:03 PM

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

i spy with my little eyes.

i am in the hunt for new spectacles.
or contact lens.
or maybe resort back to the upside-down frame.

but for all i know, i have always wanted perfect eyesight.

i pen my thoughts @11:13 PM

Thursday, June 26, 2008

oh heck... work life.

Nursing draws me because of the human contact. I hate to just face machines. But sometimes, humans can simply be pain in the ass. Everybody wants a piece of you. And all i need as a staff nurse is fast action body + super powered mind + lots of compassion.

Singaporeans' minds are just corrupted with complaints. How hard is it to be gracious?

I am bewildered at how people behave as collegues. We turn ugly when we need something badly. Life is a rat race. Why is everyone hiding a knife behind their back when it is damn obvious. Being very green to the ward, i have got no rights to comment. However, the longer i work in 58, the more stereotype i create. hah. But all i know, I wouldn't want to grow old in 58.

My preceptor went for Night duty followed by Annual Leave which means i am preceptorless for close to 2 weeks- which has always been the case. hah. For the past 1 week or so, i have been tagging alongside my new found Mother Hen - Wei Xien. A very big hug to you for really sharing your knowledge. I have had a fair share of mistakes which i hope i will never repeat. You'll make a very good preceptor someday though i know you hate it.

on a lighter note, i have got my payyyy. PAY DAY!!!

i pen my thoughts @10:42 PM

Friday, May 30, 2008

anger just ruins everything.

it is not the same even if you try to make things up just by saying sorry. sure enough, it will leave a scar. an impact that will make you remember and feel the hatred within. negativity leaves longer impression. but after awhile, it will fade away.

i can't help but to observe peoples' reaction when they get angry. in that spur of moment, anything can happen. taking actions that will only leave you feel nothing but regret.

sometimes i myself will be amused at the way i react. it all depends on the mood.

ignorance is bliss.

i pen my thoughts @11:59 PM

Saturday, May 17, 2008

happy happy birthday.

came down to celebrate a mini advanced birthday last Thursday for Fitri after much persuasion and deliberation. had to wear the tacky uniform from One Fullerton down to Esplanade and through City Link. if only i have got a set of clothings in my locker.

sour puss seems pretty fine.

Standing: Shop Owner, Yan Hardy, Fitri, Sarah, Shahira, Yan Ber, Adib.

Sitting: Zara, Syaz, me, Cart, Fareez.


And to Jasmine Hung Yirong too. see you around neighbour :).

i pen my thoughts @10:43 PM